Head's Up, Kathleen McNamara

As we close September and open October at Tuxedo Park School, I look at back at all of the things we have already accomplished in this very young school year. We began our year on September 6 with record enrollment, and while the road to Frost Valley washed out and the 7th and 8th grades did not make their annual pilgrimage there, the 9th grade did trek in the Adirondacks, scaling mountains, diving into lakes and learning to rely on each other in varied and unexpected ways. We have launched athletic teams, hosted back-to-school nights for all grade levels and enjoyed social parent evenings on campus by division. Last week I had the great good fortune to be invited to the Franklin Lakes community and I spent an evening with parents in that neighborhood. We discussed life at school, the state of parenting in the technological age, and I learned about the things that make TPS special for their families.

At Primary School Back-to-School Night, I shared with TPS parents some wisdom I learned from high school students in California. We had participated in a program at Stanford University’s school of Education called Challenge Success (www.challengesuccess.org). The mission of this program is to broaden the definition of success in schools, and the team associated with this program includes Madeleine Levine, author of The Price of Privilege and Maureen Pope, the author of Doing School—both of whom are widely featured and quoted in the recent film The Race to Nowhere. It was the high school students from Mission San Jose High School who had adopted the slogan: “Don’t ask me what I got, ask me what I learned.”

If we as parents can practice using this mantra with our children—especially our youngest children—we can learn to shift our focus beyond grades and performance and engage them in meaningful conversations about becoming life-long learners. As parents, we are our children’s first teachers; there is much we can do to have them remember us as some of their best.

Last week I had the privilege of attending the inaugural “Schools For Tomorrow” conference sponsored by the New York Times and I’ve returned with many ideas, some of them contradictory to each other!

You’ll notice, as I did, that the conference title uses the word “for,” and not “of.” This seems an important distinction, because while “technology of the future” was an important part of the day’s discussion, implementing change now, in “schools of today,” was very much at the heart of the conversation.

The conference itself served as a fascinating test-drive through the new landscape that technology has already created in teaching moments of all kinds; I’ve attended many lectures over the years, but none quite like this. My experience came in four layers: listening to the speakers, Googling germane topics in real time, taking notes on my iPad and reading the live Twitter feed from audience members—many of whom vehemently disagreed with the speaker. So there I was, serving as a test case “student” in the new classroom being envisioned by the assembled thinkers from the worlds of teaching, technology, government, philanthropy, business and media, all of whom are preparing us for how to harness new technology to accomplish a classic goal: preparing students for the world that awaits them when they venture out into the world.

In his book, Drive, Daniel Pink reminds us that we are preparing students for their future–not our pasts. With this in mind it becomes a little easier to foster the spirit of innovation as we chart our course as educators, reminded that new tools and new challenges are what we bring our students every day. Requiring it of ourselves only seems fair. There is a rich arsenal of tools available at nytschoolsfortomorrow.com and I encourage the student in each of us to link to the site in search of our own new role in the new education landscape.

I grew up in a neighborhood in New Jersey where everything I needed was within walking distance: I walked to school, I walked to church, I walked to the corner market for a quart of milk for my mother, I walked to my friends’ houses and they walked to mine.

My four brothers and I always knew when it was time to come home no matter where we were in the neighborhood. Our father would simply whistle; if we were mid-sentence or midair on the swings, it did not matter. We just ran home. That’s it. It worked. (And we were not the von Trapp family, either!)

I think it is safe to say that times have changed. Those neighborhoods are not so easy to find. This is not how we live now. So for many of our Tuxedo Park School families, this school is the neighborhood for you and for your children. You can grab coffee in the morning, join your children for lunch, swing by for a performance or a game. You can sign your child up for our new extended day program and have your children here, safe, supervised and hopefully relaxed, whether they are playing a game of Scrabble or chess, jumping on the playground, or getting a jump on their homework. And like my old neighborhood, you can check in with other parents and get feedback on your children and their day, their week, and their development.

So as we begin this year talking about community and communication, remember, this is home to your children, but it is also home to your family. Use it that way. Parents do meet for coffee at drop off, come to school to discuss questions or raise issues and compare notes. Sometimes they are looking for parenting advice. Sometimes they just want to know what other parents think, what they struggle with, or how they make their parenting decisions.

As we settle a bit more into the school year, we will be hosting some “neighborhood chats” to facilitate communication “between and among parents” and between home and school. This is a very potent recipe: when all the adults are working on behalf of children and communicating well (not necessarily agreeing with each other all the time, but that is not the point of clear communication!), we can create an open space for parents to discuss their worries and concerns and continue to create the safe, nurturing environment that allows students to grow in developmentally appropriate ways. As parents think about what you want to discuss in your neighborhood, whether here at school or where you live, please email topics to me so we can start our collaboration together.

You may have noticed that each week, I am adding a link to a site, article or Ted talk that you might find interesting. This week, I offer a talk about “choice.” This is a speaker I heard at the NAIS Annual Conference in February 2011 in Maryland. Her research about children and choice is very interesting. Please click here to enjoy.

Let’s keep the conversation going.

The rich history of Tuxedo Park School is in evidence all over our “home” of Blairhame. Each day we walk the hallways, we pass symbols of our history: the whole school photographs, the pictures of graduating classes, portraits of retired headmasters, NYSAIS accreditation certificates, and the original charter of the school which hangs in the Head’s office. We are grateful for this history and the legacy of those who came before us. We are proud that they live on in the rituals and traditions of our fine school, enriching our experience and bringing us closer to the past as well as closer to one another.

This weekend brought many commemorations of the tenth anniversary of 9/11. As one of the defining moments in our national history and international consciousness, it is hard not be drawn back to that gorgeous, clear, blue sky, Tuesday morning when our world was forever changed. For many families it is a day marked with very personal tragedy. For others, it is a day that reminds us to be grateful for what we have, for the “here and now.” It is a day that encourages us to keep perspective on the things that can bog us down or make us feel dissatisfied or disappointed. We are here now. We have the gift of life and family and fellowship. We need not let fear guide us, but rather hope.

For families struggling with how to respond to questions from children about 9/11 and other news events, click here for a link to resources that may help you find language and clarity as you discuss our history in developmentally appropriate ways.

Greetings from the first day of the 112th School Year at Tuxedo Park School. Today we welcomed all new students in our Opening Assembly as we announced the newest members on to the Green and Gold teams. Dating back over sixty years, Green and Gold tradition connects students across grade levels and across the years.

Another part of our Opening Day Assembly was the moment where I let the students know just how much we missed them over the summer and how relieved I was that they had finally arrived. For those of us who work in schools, nothing is real until there are children in the building!

As faculty and staff sat through meetings last week, we had many moments to reflect on gratitude. We talked about gratitude for such a wonderful school and the opportunity to work with such dedicated colleagues. We also reflected on our gratitude for the fact that we were largely spared in both in the recent earthquake that shook Blairhame as well as during hurricane Irene. Sitting at the top of the hill in the Park meant we escaped what could have been much larger issues with flooding in our sweet, historic home. As it was, we took on water in a few different places, but the campus residents worked tirelessly to make sure we kept the damage to a minimum. Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Heard, Mr. Ibrahim, Mr. Ham and some Mirza volunteers, our campus was saved from a worse fate. As I said to the faculty last week, all hands were on deck and made for light work. It was a wonderful example of the spirit of TPS.

Welcome back and welcome home. Here’s to a wonderful year filled with examples of hard work, selflessness, and kindness.